These Monsters... - These Monsters... (2006)

These Monsters... is, at least to me, one of the better things to emerge from the post-rock genre in the last few years, albeit one with an unusual vibe. Every track brings to mind something in-between weird dreamscapes and green oceans: it can't decide on whether it wants to soothe or cause trouble. It could be the electronica-tinged percussion, or the Deku horn-like saxophone riffing its way into your nightmares. Either way, they're both completely at odds with the never-relieved and ever-flowing pace of the music itself. Yeah, that's it. Flow is something this album has too much of. The climaxes aren't particularly climactic, but they just keep going, and flowing, anyway, without consent.

For anyone who loves mood-setters and the more brooding types of post-rock. I would say steer clear of sunny days with this one, but nah. You decide.

Note: Two-second gap between tracks 1 and 2. It bothers me too.

@256

Sun Kil Moon - April (2008)

This is a long fucking album and I'll admit, right now, to never making it all the way through in one sitting, but I'd like to think the man behind Sun Kil Moon has a voice that rewards anyone who actually does. April is a sit-backer. A lean-to. But it's compelling enough to keep anyone wanting a compelling listen...compelled? Or as in my case, interested for at least half of its total running time. I can't complain. My forte tends to be an attention-seeking tramp, and it's certainly satiated my drooling tongue for a good ten years now.

Anyone who likes to get lost in hard, melancholic melodies and near-droning, country-fied acoustic twangs can't go wrong here. Reserved for sleepless nights and cool mid-afternoon drives.

@V0: Part 1 & Part 2

Cloudkicker - Discography

Ben Sharp, presumably a metalhead fella' from Ohio, set out to (again, presumably) create something remarkable with a project we now know as Cloudkicker. While he didn't quite set the bar as high as he might have hoped, mother of God, did he mock-up one hell of an effort, or two. Few bands (and even fewer one-mans) have been able to capture the atmosphere and matching intensity present here. Meshuggah-isms and repetition are the name of the game. Couple that with some borderline post-rock/metal leanings and you've got a recipe for a potentially kickass band with too many killer riffs for its own good. No, I didn't forget to add hyberbole.

Did I mention he offers his music for free?

“It costs me absolutely nothing to create the music. Zero dollars. I record all the guitars and bass straight into my laptop and program the drums using this one sequencing program, then I mix and master everything myself. The only thing that costs money are guitar strings, but I have a full-time job so it’s no big deal.”
– Ben Sharp, (Musical Awareness on Cloudkicker)

Commend him, dear patrons. My conscience is clear for now.

The Discovery (2008) and The Map is Not the Territory (2009) @V0 & FLAC

Burn in Silence - Angel Maker (2006)

Here's a doozy. Soothing keyboard synths that'd be right at home on a Dark Tranquillity record run amuck in this beauty. But don't forget the dizzying guitars that constantly wake you from your lulled trance. Or the drumming. Sweet Lord, the drumming. This band has got a clockmaker behind the kit.

For anyone who loves symphonic technical metalcore that has recently overdosed on modern melodic death metal. Don't let that album title fool you: there's nothing benevolent or bright and fluffy about this one.

@V0

Misery Signals - Controller (2008)

I'm a firm believer in the 00s. Anyone who says "well, this music thing is just getting worse and worse" is either too old or too lazy to dig a little deeper. Sure, every genre has its share of By-Numbers, and metalcore is, probably more so than most, no exception. In fact, my local music scene is a microcosm of the entire metalcore movement, except the kids have recently grown up and started whipping out the brutal-er vocals and five-beats-per-minute breakdowns. Fuck, I'm getting off topic.

Misery Signals was, at two (three if you're a dick) points, no exception to that followers thing I mentioned up there, although they were always a tad more emotional than a small majority of their cohorts. Controller has marked the end of that in-line era for this band, and instead propelled them directly to the front. Every selling point this band has ever held has been completely reinvigorated, and with added bubblegum-smooth instrumental work. Every good idea they've ever envisioned, every awesome riff that didn't quite mesh with previous sounds, and every emotional moment that their prepubescent selves experienced, all culminate in this stunning monster of an album. For anyone who likes emotional music in general, metal, or post-rockian metalcore. Yep, I said it. Listen to "Set in Motion" and tell me you don't hear a huge Explosions in the Sky influence.

Note: Yeah, this one's a little out of place, but I had to sellout sometime. Plus, this is the best straight-up metalcore album I've ever heard. Definitely a contender on the "Top Five Reasons Metalcore May Not be a Dying Genre" list.

@V0

Theory in Practice - Discography

Theory in Practice has been my favorite death metal band ever since I first heard "Conspiracy in Cloning" way back in mid-2004. Sure, Nocturnus did almost everything this band has done about a decade beforehand, but Theory layered some well needed melody on top of that early-90s Floridian complexity. It's not just "FUCK" anymore. It's "holy mother of god HOW?"

For anyone in the mood for some completely over-the-top, OVERWHELMINGLY complex technical death metal, with some shiny songwriting skills and spacey keyboards tossed in at the last minute. Ever since their conception, Theory have opted for raspy, high-pitched shrieking growls instead of that low, bestial rumble your kids all know and love. They can be a little grating to begin with, but try your best to learn to love them. This band really delivers the goods once you do.

Note: This band gets their discography posted because they're so Goddamned good. Also, these albums are extremely hard to physically acquire without putting your son's brain surgery on hold. If anyone asks, I got lucky. My son is sti-...I mean, he's just fine, I swear.

The Armageddon Theories (1999) @V0
Colonizing the Sun (2002) @V0
Third Eye Function (Reissue) (2006) @V0: Part 1 & Part 2

The Arusha Accord - Nightmares of the Ocean (2008)

Ever since my favorite band, Sikth, gave up their monopoly on the UK's progressive metal scene, numerous smaller bands have been frantically trying to salvage their own sound from those charred remains. The Arusha Accord is the only band I've heard since that time that has the perfect amount of technical proficiency, songwriting ability, and pure zazz to possibly pull it off, even if it's almost like a rough interpretation of Britain's heroes in their wonder years. That last bit makes me sound like I'm some Alzheimer's-ridden old man being force-fed no-name LPs in his attic. I'm not (last time I checked, gangrene from 'Nam wasn't a terminal disease). I absolutely adore this EP. It's twenty times more coherent than any Sikth outing, and therein lies its only fault: Where's the charm?

They got the cover right. A ship, too-hard at sea, is one-of-one synesthetic image that springs to mind every time I spin this album. But is that it? Where's the charm, really? Sikth's music was over-burdened with chaotic and unorthodox, almost-outlandish hooks from start-to-finish. Arusha's got to have something going for them, right? Well yeah, they do. Those weird hooks are still here, and a lot less subtle than before. When this band hits, they hit really fucking hard. For anyone who loves Britain's brand of progressive metal and mathcore.

I wish I could really say something about this album. Writer's block is a fickle business.

@V0

Kong - Snake Magnet (2009)

Been anxiously awaiting this one's arrival in my mailbox, and wadda-ya-know. Kong plays this weird blend of grungy post-hardcore and frailed-at-the-edges sludge with mathy riffs tossed in for good measure. Once it comes together, it kind of sounds like the homeless child of Hella and The Melvins with yelled, mostly nonsense lyrics. In fact, that thing I wrote for Ehanre's The Man Closing Up applies here, too. But that's all irrelevant. This album is awesome, and I can't get enough. Most definitely destined for my Best-of-2009 list.

Buy this album
@V0

Bohren & der Club of Gore - Sunset Mission (2000)

Extremely down-tempo ambient noir-jazz from Germany.

This one reeks of cigarette smoke. It's been discarded by some junkie in an ashtray at the only lit corner of a bar, long after everyone else has left. Outside the bar, streetlamps rest as mouth-like alleys keep watch. Car horns and taxi-calls can be heard from a distance without a soul in sight. Apartment lights on faraway buildings are the only things left to perpetuate the night after every star has blotted itself out. Reserved for lonely AMs and moody, lights-out sex.

(Removed. Sorry guys.)

Doomtree - False Hopes (2007)

Hip-hop collective from Minneapolis. Another album where a main attribute is nostalgia. Every time I hear this album, my mind brings me back to my days of Evil Dead and Sonic the Hedgehog, which is unusual since this group doesn't seem to draw influence from either. Maybe it's just the extreme campiness of the lyrics, the smooth, circus-y beats, and the almost noir/horror movie-like atmosphere present on a handful of tracks. I'll never really know.

Note: Awesome flow and wordsmanship abound in this one, so wear your girlfriend's underwear. She won't mind.

@V2

Devil Sold His Soul - A Fragile Hope (2007)

Intense, down-tempo post-hardcore (though verging on post-rock-styled screamo) from London. Definitely one of those albums that can be almost mind-numbingly heavy whilst firmly maintaining a delicate atmosphere. Recommended to any fans of heavy music, and a half-sincere "I swear it doesn't bite!" to anyone else.

Note: The first and second tracks on this album both make imagining stormed WWII-era beaches that much easier. Using a corpse as a lifeboat doesn't come until track 3. The last track is just a liar.

(Removed. Sorry guys.)

The Protomen - The Protomen (2005)

Here's another band that seems to have been quietly brushed under someone's "Welcome Home" mat, at least in the non-video game communities. The Protomen is a concept album about, what else, Mega Man, with a slightly different - and darker - take on the story. From the first minute of the first track, the storytelling is goosebump-worthy and the 8-bit synths are much more hook-laden than they should be, and, slowly-but-surely, you learn that the lead-singer's got pipes that would make World 7 blush. But what really pushes this album past the finish line is the atmosphere. I can totally picture pallid buildings, decayed at the base and sprawled to few-and-far between, throughout this entire album. I can see Megaman, disenchanted with humanity, leaving its people behind as they writhe in agony. I've never been one to pay a terrible amount of attention to lyrics, but this album absolutely demands that extra effort.

@V0

Aletheian - Apolutrosis (2003)

I've always had a soft spot for this album. It's nowhere near as fluid, polished, or even melodic, as the newer Dying Vine, but it does have some intangible tinge of charm that was lost somewhere in all the sophomore release hubbub. If you're ever in the mood for weird interludes that overstay their welcome, almost-off-key wailing interspersed between raucous growls, and some really hypnotic lead-guitar sections, try this album.

@V0

Ehnahre - The Man Closing Up (2008)

This album is ugly. Imagine a giant, rustic elephant with the torn flesh of a once-living lion hanging from its lips, bulbous black eyes dried to a crevice, and skin blistered to pus-filled pools, and you'll have a rough idea. Some truly raw, unsettling stuff here. Not for a sunny day.

Note: Don't forget your headphones.

@V0

Dissonant - Consolidated Reality Fragments (2005)

There's something horribly nostalgic about this album, like every riff was ripped straight out of my favorite Super Nintendo games. Bundle that with some awesome vocal phrasing (and fantastic vocals, to boot) and you've got a recipe for a bitchin' death metal band that gets next-to-no recognition. Holy shit, why.

Note: Israel-music.com

@V2

3 - Wake Pig (2004)

I can't talk 3 up enough. This band is like a straight man's Coheed & Cambria. The lead guitarist/vocalist plays a nifty blend of flamenco and slap, and has the vocal capabilities to back his garrulous fingers up. Think of the aforementioned C&C meets The Beatles. Production's a little soft, but it fits this album's style like a slightly-oversize glove.

Note: This is the reissue, but it's got the original's year in the id3 tags and the folder name. This is because I count this version as Wake Pig. It's also because the original isn't nearly as cool.

@V0: Part 1 & Part 2

Zebulon Pike - II: The Deafening Twilight (2006)

Instrumental stoner doom metal from Minnesota. I've never heard another album that better encapsulates the feeling of raping and pillaging an Indian village for economic gain. The angular, precise guitar riffs present on this album are no doubt what played on constant loop in the minds of American frontiersmen as they broke entrepreneurial molds. II is doom at its finest.

Note: The first song on this album is guaranteed to make your balls drop a little lower. Keep out of reach of children.

@192

Today I Caught the Plague - Ms. Mary Mallon (2008)

Second in line is this short, ultra-catchy glimpse of kickass. Ms. Mary Mallon is an amalgamation of progressive metal and a few post-hardcore acts that I could never recall at this hour. For anyone who wants some light yet ball-grabbing metalcore.

@V0

Spiral Architect - A Sceptic's Universe (2000)

Let's get this shit started.

A Sceptic's Universe is one hell of an album. Frequently heralded as "the most technical metal album evar," it certainly doesn't disappoint in that regard. Some of the metal world's more penis-inclined fanbase always asks "but where's the EMOTION?" The answer to this question reveals itself only after sand is removed from said fanbase's collective vagina. Who fucking cares, fe-men. This album is absolutely nuts.

@V0